The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
Randomize
