1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
Be still, my beating vagina.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Randomize
