I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
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