So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
