So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
