I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
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