My boss' voice literally gives me gas
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
I have feelings that need drinking.
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
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