well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
