Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
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