she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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