How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
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