I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize
