I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
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