He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
Randomize