if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
