I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
this just has baby written all over it
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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