I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
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