Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
Kareoke will never be a sober sport
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
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