Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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