first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
The best revenge is premature balding
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
Randomize
