dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
Randomize
