how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
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Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
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You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
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