Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
Randomize
