Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
Randomize
