I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
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