Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
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