I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
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