Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
Randomize
