Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Randomize
