The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
