Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
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I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
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This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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