its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
we should paint friendship bongs
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
