Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
Randomize