I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
Randomize
