Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
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