new low.... made out with someone while peeing
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
Randomize
