i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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