A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
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