It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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