I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
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