My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
Randomize
