My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
Randomize
