How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
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