I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
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