Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
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