They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
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