Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
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