absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
You brought string cheese to the strip club
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
Randomize
