She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
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