i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
