Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
we're so committed to being not committed
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
Randomize
