guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
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