life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
Randomize
