she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
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