they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Randomize
