look no pants
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
Randomize
