so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
Randomize
