So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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