Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I take back everything I said about communal showers
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
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