He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
