He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
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