I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
Did we literally take a cab across the street
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
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