I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
Randomize
