And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
Randomize
