Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
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