so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
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