How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
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