You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
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