I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
Randomize
