I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
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