Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
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