She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
Randomize
