I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Randomize
